Are You in the Pressure Pot of Responsibility? Parenting? Are you toiling and boiling and don’t know how to get out?

August 13, 2020 dellastricklandauthor

THE PRESSURE POT OF RESPONSIBILITY II

Are you toiling and boiling and trying your darnedest to be a good parent in this toxic world where what used to be good is now bad, and what once worked, for thousands of years as parents and grandparents, is now deemed abusive? Are you deemed, as a parent outside the bounds of the law, abusive just because you discipline your children? Do you feel the burn, the scorn of society because of it?

Well, so did I, and a lot of other parents…until I began to learn what the pressure pot of responsibility was all about. Now in Pressure Pot I, I go into how our parents and grandparents put us into the pressure pot of responsibility, what it was, what it was like, and how it affected us all in the beginnings of our lives. If you would like to start at the beginning with an informative and insightful read, CLICK HERE: Are You in the Pressure Pot of Responsibility? Parenting? Are you toiling and boiling and don’t know how to get out?

When we left off with The Pressure Pot of Responsibility I, we were at the point when I wanted to delve into God’s idea of a pressure pot! So here goes!

Like I said before, pressure pots have very distinct and unequivocal directions on how to properly use them, requirements if you will, for your safety. If you don’t diligently adhere to them, I promise you, you will have an explosion on your hands; a very dangerous one. You could lose your life!!!

You may think the pressure pot of responsibility is not as dangerous, but I would argue that it is even more dangerous if not done properly; and I would add, Godly.

Responsibility. It has been an ugly word for a long time now. Sitting in a room, on a computer, playing video games and what-not is not the real reality of life, but is unfortunately a lot of today’s children’s realities. And while I understand it is very dangerous these days to let your children play outside, if not watched over by mature adults, or parents, not teaching them the real reality of life is just as dangerous. Statistics say at least 800,000 children go missing in America every year. Just think about that, and try to consider what the people who have abducted them are doing with them. Why isn’t the news, mainstream media talking about this? It’s outrageous that they don’t! Why?

Okay, I’ll try not to get off topic again. Let’s go back to responsibility, and being a responsible parent. After I had worked with children for five years in the school system, I was horrified that most children didn’t understand some of the most elemental basics of life. For instance: They did not know where their food came from. They thought it magically appeared in the supermarket. I’m not kidding you when I say this. I could go on and on!

But I will not. Here, now, I’d like to share my testimony of my pressure pot of responsibility to my own children.

When my two children became teenagers, I thought I was doing a good job of being a mother. But in my prayer time, the Lord began to deal with me and convict me about some of my so called “good” mothering ways. I got the feeling he didn’t approve of them, much to my dismay. This caused me to pray even harder. I was confused, thinking I had been giving them good advice…direction.

Then came the day when the Lord shocked me to my core. To make a long story short enough for this blog, I will just explain it this way. The Lord basically told me I could no longer tell my children what to do! What? How could I continue raising them without telling them what to do; correct them?

In our culture, most children do not respect their parents, and this is a result of having an “entitled” mentality. You can’t spoil a child with too much love, but you can spoil them with too many possessions they have had no part in earning. Earning “stuff” is hard work, something a lot of children in this toxic culture know nothing about.

So…I had been teaching my children the right concepts…or so I thought. Now, I didn’t know what to do, so I kept praying. Then came the kicker that put me in the pressure pot!

Get this! The Lord told me I could only correct my children and tell them what HE told me to say!! Whaaaat?? Now in those days, I was really having a hard time discerning the voice of the Lord. But I was learning, when the Lord wanted me to hear his voice, it was loud and clear. No doubt there.

From that point, I began to know, through experience, not mental knowledge of concepts, what the pressure pot of God was all about. Can you guess how many times my mouth opened to tell my children what to do? But I couldn’t. I had to watch them struggle, even as I struggled, to understand my new role as the Lord’s spokesperson to my teenage children. I had to learn to watch them make mistakes, struggle in the culture, wanting to become part of it. Even though I felt a lot of their decisions were wrong, I couldn’t say a word. Can you imagine that? If you know me, you would laughingly say, “No!”

Let me tell you, I began to be more on my knees, my head in the Bible, and learning to discern the Lord’s voice among all the chattering thoughts in my head, for the sake of my children, and them learning right from wrong; God’s ways.

I was in the pressure pot cooking, torn, confused, and wondering if I was even hearing the voice of God!! But I learned to discern his voice. I learned that even if I didn’t get it right the first time, he wasn’t angry. But lovingly encouraged me to keep on going.

In my pressure pot, God began to bring out the servant in me, waiting on HIM to give ME direction to my children!

I began to be grateful, and gracious, and eternally thankful as I watched God’s direction to me begin to play out for the betterment of my children in mine, and their everyday life.

Did I get it wrong sometimes? Yes, yes I did. Did I fail to deliver the Lord’s words in the right way sometimes? Yes, yes I did. But in my defense, consider this: Jesus discipled grown men for three and one half years! Guess what? They still didn’t get it. That is, until, the day of Pentecost. When the Light, the Truth, the Comforter came, he continued to disciple them. Meaning, they had to adhere to the risen Lord leading them and guiding them in the responsibility of their individual lives, and work for the Lord, ministry, his servants, if you will.

I want to say this about my pressure pot of responsibility; I learned to hear his voice, and I became his servant. And…this is a big one…I gave him the honor for his word. I told my children that I heard from the Lord, and then I gave them HIS words, not mine. And they began to see the richness of his word in their lives. They saw me struggle, pray, fast, and wait on the Lord for his word for our family, for their lives, and for our future.

Then, the most amazing thing began to happen! They began coming to me in the middle of their problems and asking me to pray to the Lord for direction. I would always say yes, and many, many times, I would tell them they needed to pray with me. And they began to.

As I began to give God the honor, praise, and glory for his precious words of instruction and wisdom into our lives, it was as if someone hit the pressure gage, and pressure I didn’t even realize I was under began to be released. Anxiety, fears, and other toxic feeling where my children were concerned began to be released from my spirit, toxic spirits that had caused my mind to be in bondage to them.

The Lord put me in a pressure pot of responsibility. Then he brought my children into it. And eventually my husband. We were all in this pressure pot of responsibility, and we learned to let the Lord lead us and guide us.

We all began to get to know the Lord and he strengthened our relationship with him and each other. It also brought us into new levels of faith we didn’t even know existed, except for the stories in the Bible.

I give him all the praise and glory for it. And I did, and still do, in front of my family.

In that pressure pot of responsibility, I learned the difference between being a good mother and a Godly mother. My Bible, my prayer, and fasting became my foundation for living.

1 Corinthians 10:24 (BBE)
²⁴Let a man give attention not only to what is good for himself, but equally to his neighbor’s good.

I sought the Lord for the benefit of my children. But the benefits I never dreamed of became our way of life, living as servants of the Lord.

Now if you have a problem with being a servant, listen to what Jesus says about it. Mark 10:45 (BBE)
⁴⁵For truly the Son of man did not come to have servants, but to be a servant, and to give his life for the salvation of men.

If Jesus came to be a SERVANT, and we, as Christians, are supposed to be modeling ourselves after Christ Jesus, aren’t we supposed to more concerned about becoming HIS SERVANT than anything else?

Think about this: 1 Corinthians 4:1 (BBE)
¹Let us be judged as SERVANTS of Christ, and as those who are RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SECRET THINGS OF GOD.

IN MY PRESSURE POT OF GOD, the Lord brought me close, trained me to hear his voice, and began to teach me about my responsibility towards my children. When he felt he could TRUST me, he began to REVEAL the secret things about my children that he and he alone knew. In order to do that, I had to be patient and confident, with faith towards him, the Lord, that he knew what he was doing. Through me, his servant, he wanted them to know that he knew them better than they knew themselves. Know why? Because our toxic society wants us to be cookie cutter people. Even the church sometimes has this mentality. But God does not!!! Because we are not cookie cutter people. We are each one uniquely, and one-of-a-kind created by God, for God’s purposes alone.

(I want to put an ad here: My books are all about the uniqueness of each and every one of my characters in my fiction novels. And I celebrate them and the Lord while I write each story. My stories are not cookie cutter genre! If that is what you want, the same old same old, you will not appreciate my stories of love, faith, growth, intrigue, and romance. They are each unique, because I want my characters to each come off as real, unique, one-of-a-kind characters; ones the readers can empathize with. Why do I say empathize? {I found this on the web. I don’t know who said it, but it fits here.} By means of empathy, a great painting, or novel, becomes a mirror of the self.)

So, if you feel as if you are in God’s pressure pot of responsibility, suffering, even in physical pain, know this: The bottom line in your pot is three things: 1. Become obedient, and do it as quickly as you can, without delay. 2. Acknowledge, accept, and underscore, in your mind, that you are being trained to become a SERVANT of El Elyon, the God Most High; Elohim, God, the Creator of all things! 3. Acknowledge, and rebuke, most persistently, any and all rebellious spirits that try to cause you to kick against the pricks! Allow God to bring you to a point of praise and worship from the heart. And when you begin to genuinely do this, you will begin to see the Lord hit the pressure valve and let off the pressure.

But know and understand this, in God’s Pressure Pot of Responsibility, you will have to deal with yourself and the toxic spirits Satan has tried to bind you with, to enslave you to him. But God wants you to be free.

John 8:36 (KJV)
³⁶If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.

Satan wants you to be in bondage, a slave, bound in the chains of sin. God wants you to be free. That is why he sent his son into the world, to save us from slavery and sin to Satan, into becoming free to serve God. After all, that is what we all were created for.

It is our duty, our responsibility to serve Adonai, our Lord!

Jesus said to pray this way: Our Father, who art in heaven… Abba, our Father.

Speaking as a parent, is it really our responsibility to teach our children about the Heavenly Father, God?

What is the big deal about “giving God the honor, praise, and the glory?”

Why should we give Him, God, the credit when it is us who are working our tails off down here on earth to survive?

Ever wondered these things? Well, we are going to cover this in God’s Pressure Pot of Responsibility III!

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bench, pot and flowers — The Jake & Jewel Homestead

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And also, my children’s book, Emma’s Moments; six stories on how one set of parents began to take the things of everyday life to teach their little “question box” Emma about God, his kingdom, and salvation through Jesus. They are fun, fresh, and are good for both parents and children.

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From Romance & the Homestead, be blessed in the Lord!

Della

Author Della's Blog, Inspiration for Love!

Are You in the Pressure Pot of Responsibility? Parenting? Are you toiling and boiling and don’t know how to get out?

July 23, 2020August 31, 2021 dellastricklandauthor

Are you desperately trying to find that one release valve? Is there such a thing as God’s pressure pot?

Do you know what a pressure pot is? Ever used a pressure pot? No? Maybe? Yes?

I’ll share one thing with you: I have. One thing you first learn about a pressure pot is…it can be very dangerous if not done properly.

You have to know your altitude. You have to know how much poundage to put on the pot for the content; what you are cooking up. You have to know how to crank the heat up properly and then adjust it, and keep it adjusted. And then you have to know how to properly vent it and let it cool down, release the pressure so it doesn’t blow up in your face when you take the lid off.

Now, I have the new “pressure pot” on today’s market. It’s called Instant Pot, or “Instapot” with all the convenient bells and whistles: pre-times settings, push button controls, and easy venting. You really don’t have to know anything, just add a little water, put your food inside, set your pressure valve one way, and then lock the lid, set it, and let it go. Wahla!!

Now the InstaPot is not for canning for long time preservation of food. It’s just for a quicker cook.

But neither of these is the pressure pot I’m talking about. I’m talking about God’s pressure pot. The pot He puts us in and cranks up the heat. Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me describe it this way: The pressure pot of responsibility our parents put us in when they were teaching us how to be responsible could be a parallel likeness.

“Oh,” you say? “My parents didn’t teach you how to be responsible like that.”

Okay, I understand. You’re of that generation where we, as parents, were told how bad, cruel, and abusive we were if we put pressure on our children in the form of parental control. And we were told our children should run the household. If utter confusion set it, we were bad parents!! Uh…and then there was the ugly word, or should I say the word that soon became the ugliest word of all… Uh…let’s whisper it. “Spanking.” Oh no! You’re a bad parent!

Oh, but the word “spanking” wasn’t the word they used to “guilt” us into believing we were abusive if we disciplined our children with a “spanking.” The word they used with a horrified tone and insinuation of abuse went this way: “You “struck” your child? How horrible. It’s abuse!! Ten times over it’s abuse!” Afterwards went like this: RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!! ABUSE! ABUSE! GET THE POLICE!! PUT THEM IN JAIL! TAKE THE CHILDREN!

Now let me tell you, this confused a lot of parents, me included. Was I abusive if I spanked my children?

No, I’m was not. To say I was was, was catamount to accusing not only me of being an abusive parent, but my parents too, and also my grandparents, and great grandparents, and great, great grandparents of being child abusers. All the way back to Adam and Eve probably. And then to God! Think about that.

Isn’t it a good thing all these so-called child experts came along at the right time to tell us parents who were “spanking” their children we were being abusive, contradicting thousands of years of parents and grandparents correcting their children! Whew! And just in time! (Sarcasm here!)

My parents spanked me. They were not abusers. They raised us with discipline, work, and they ran our home as parents parenting; as leaders. And let me tell you, we were not the easiest bunch to bring up. But they did, and you know why? Because their parents raised them with discipline, as their parents did before them. Now when I say discipline, I don’t mean beating your children half to death, which is abuse. I mean discipline in the form of adult leadership, adult guidance, adult supervision, and adult behavior. Yes, my parents and grandparents practiced what they preached. We children did not dictate what went on in my parents’ home, our parents did. We did not dictate anything to our parents because we respected them and their roles as adults. We did not dictate or demand as if we were “entitled” to anything, even though we worked hard, as they did.

Respect is taught, and earned, not given out just because someone thinks they deserve it, or should I say, “entitled” to it. I respected my parents, and still do even though they’ve gone to be with the Lord.

Let me tell you, we were raised on a single family farm, which was our sole income. My momma and daddy built it from a scrap of land with only one barn on it. We learned to work hard for the roof over our head, food on our table (that we mainly grew) and the clothes on our back. We were taught the essentials of life: food, shelter, clothing, which were the tangible things. We also learned the intangible things: respect, obedience, and whether we hugged or kissed each other, which we seldom did, we understood the intangible spirit of love that bonded us from the top down; from our parents down to each of us. Everything else was just icing on the cake, so to speak.

So I was raised in the pressure pot of responsibility. It was hard sometimes. Did we children groan, complain, get mad, and rebel against it at times? Yes, yes we did. Did we get a spanking for it sometimes? Or a whipping? Yes, yes we did. But we were in Momma and Daddy’s pressure pot cooking. They knew how much pressure to put on our behinds. They knew how to adjust the discipline to meet the offence, which consisted of talking back, disrespecting them, and not doing what you were told. And they knew how to let the pressure off when we got a “whoopin’” on our behinds.

Did we ever “blow our lids?” Oh yeah, we vented, we just did not “blow up” in their faces. Let me tell you, there were a few trees in the woods that I cussed out over and over; vented on them my anger at the injustice, or what I thought as a child was injustice, at getting my spanking for bad behavior. And one misbehaving little monkey was not going to stop the show, or the work on the farm! Work on the farm was catamount to eating. And let me tell you…we ate good, real good. I sure would love to have some of that homegrown, nutritious food I grew up eating.

Let me tell you, on the farm, with yard work, housework, field work, animals and youngun’s to feed, it wasn’t about how we “felt” on any given day. Knowing we would get a spanking, knowing they would get angry at us, knowing we had to do our chores, our school work, and contribute to the work, put pressure on us to buck up to being responsible every day. We didn’t realize at the time that Momma and Daddy were not just growing beans, corn, tobacco, other crops, cows, hogs, chickens, goats, cats, and dogs, they were growing seven children into respectable, hardworking, caring, and responsible adults. They were growing us into adults who became ready, willing, and able to leave home knowing how to buck up every day, work, and take care of ourselves and our own families as we faced the challenges of everyday life.

You know why? I’ll tell you. Because bucking up to the pressure our parents put on us made us strong. When you prune the vine–cut out the excess and sometimes dead wood of bad behavior–you make the vine stronger. It was the beginning of bringing out of us what God put in us. In standing up to that pressure, and discipline it made us strong people who could stand up to the difficulties that we would encounter in the world we were going to be released into one day as adults. We were raised to view our options, make critical choices, and use self discipline to do it.

Iron sharpens iron. My parents were iron, and they sharpened us, the tools in their “shed of life.” As their parents did before them and theirs before them, and so on and so on.

My parents’ daily pressure pot of responsibility bonded us as a family as it brought out the good and bad in us–just like a pressure pot does with food. They tried to shape the good, and make us fight our own undesirable behavior to become self-disciplined. Don’t think for one second we were not told when our behavior was unacceptable, and they did not spare our “feelings” or the “rod” when it came to correcting that bad behavior as we learned right from wrong; real right from wrong. Not the hogwash that is being promoted in the world today: right is now wrong, and wrong is right! It is lies, and I’m sad to say too many have bought into these lies. Our children are paying the price through confusion, not knowing or understanding the basic necessities for life, and having an entitled mentality. This is not of God. And God is not pleased with our parenting today.

This blog in no way is bashing any of you as parents. I’m only saying what I have lived and observed over the years of change in this world, culture, and so called modern way of thinking. And let me say this: The basics of life have not changed, just the thinking around it. What do I mean? Basics: food, shelter, clothing, family love, and God’s love. Our children’s understanding of the basics of life fly around objects, having everything the world of possessions’ has to offer; and have it right now!! This is confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV)
³³For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

With too many pressures from culture, media, social media, schools, and colleges, too many of us, as parents, have so relaxed our morals, let go of our standards, and given in to the pressure pot of the world, the culture, and too much “like-ism,” wanting everyone and everything to “like” us so we can all be “alike” in the world. No individuality; cookie cutter people. No competing with our own bad behavior, or facing it. No “real” right from wrong, excluding God and His word.

In other words…we, as parents, are dull iron today. We sharpen no one. We, as pressure pots, are useless. And lots of our children are venting back at us; putting pressure on us to help them get everything they want…and now!! No learning the basics of life, no self-discipline, and very little real happiness, and no liking themselves because of inner integrity, which is what God requires of us; integrity in His morals.

Let me confess here: My husband and I were one of these kinds of parents too, I’m sorry to say. And our children too, at one point paid a high price under the pressure pot of the changing culture.

In the King James Version of the Bible it says:

Proverbs 13:24 (KJV)
²⁴He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Bible in Basic English says it this way:

Proverbs 13:24 (BBE)
²⁴He who keeps back his rod is unkind to his son: the loving father gives punishment with care.

What could be the remedy for all this? The “proverbial” rod? (Pun intended here!) More than just the good old fashioned rod, the possible answer could, of course, be God’s pressure pot. But how do we, as parents, bring our children, in this toxic culture, into God’s pressure pot for His type of responsibility?

Well, we’ll cover that in The Pressure Pot of Responsibility II!

Thanks for checking into my blog. Here, at Romance & the Homestead, is just one humble woman’s opinion on some things. Yours may be different according to your own life and observations. Just hit the popup “follow” button and follow. You’ll get a confirmation email. Just confirm and you’re in. If you don’t find the comfirmation in your email box, look in your junk box. Thanks! Share on FaceBook and Twitter. Go to my contact page and send me an email! I would love to hear from you.

To learn more about me, Author Della Strickland, go here: Romance & The Homestead and here: About

Thanks, be blessed, and come back soon!

With love and blessings from Romance & The Homeastead,

Della

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