Are You in the Pressure Pot of Responsibility? Parenting? Are you toiling and boiling and don’t know how to get out?

Are you desperately trying to find that one release valve? Is there such a thing as God’s pressure pot?

Do you know what a pressure pot is? Ever used a pressure pot? No? Maybe? Yes?

I’ll share one thing with you: I have. One thing you first learn about a pressure pot is…it can be very dangerous if not done properly.

You have to know your altitude. You have to know how much poundage to put on the pot for the content; what you are cooking up. You have to know how to crank the heat up properly and then adjust it, and keep it adjusted. And then you have to know how to properly vent it and let it cool down, release the pressure so it doesn’t blow up in your face when you take the lid off.

Now, I have the new “pressure pot” on today’s market. It’s called Instant Pot, or “Instapot” with all the convenient bells and whistles: pre-times settings, push button controls, and easy venting. You really don’t have to know anything, just add a little water, put your food inside, set your pressure valve one way, and then lock the lid, set it, and let it go. Wahla!!0

Now the InstaPot is not for canning for long time preservation of food. It’s just for a quicker cook.

But neither of these is the pressure pot I’m talking about. I’m talking about God’s pressure pot. The pot He puts us in and cranks up the heat. Still don’t know what I’m talking about? Let me describe it this way: The pressure pot of responsibility our parents put us in when they were teaching us how to be responsible could be a parallel likeness.

“Oh,” you say? “My parents didn’t teach you how to be responsible like that.”

Okay, I understand. You’re of that generation where we, as parents, were told how bad, cruel, and abusive we were if we put pressure on our children in the form of parental control. And we were told our children should run the household. If utter confusion set it, we were bad parents!! Uh…and then there was the ugly word, or should I say the word that soon became the ugliest word of all… Uh…let’s whisper it. “Spanking.” Oh no! You’re a bad parent!

Oh, but the word “spanking” wasn’t the word they used to “guilt” us into believing we were abusive if we disciplined our children with a “spanking.” The word they used with a horrified tone and insinuation of abuse went this way: “You “struck” your child? How horrible. It’s abuse!! Ten times over it’s abuse!” Afterwards went like this: RED ALERT!! RED ALERT!! ABUSE! ABUSE! GET THE POLICE!! PUT THEM IN JAIL! TAKE THE CHILDREN!

Now let me tell you, this confused a lot of parents, me included. Was I abusive if I spanked my children?

No, I’m was not. To say I was was, was catamount to accusing not only me of being an abusive parent, but my parents too, and also my grandparents, and great grandparents, and great, great grandparents of being child abusers. All the way back to Adam and Eve probably. And then to God! Think about that.

Isn’t it a good thing all these so-called child experts came along at the right time to tell us parents who were “spanking” their children we were being abusive, contradicting thousands of years of parents and grandparents correcting their children! Whew! And just in time! (Sarcasm here!)

My parents spanked me. They were not abusers. They raised us with discipline, work, and they ran our home as parents parenting; as leaders. And let me tell you, we were not the easiest bunch to bring up. But they did, and you know why? Because their parents raised them with discipline, as their parents did before them. Now when I say discipline, I don’t mean beating your children half to death, which is abuse. I mean discipline in the form of adult leadership, adult guidance, adult supervision, and adult behavior. Yes, my parents and grandparents practiced what they preached. We children did not dictate what went on in my parents’ home, our parents did. We did not dictate anything to our parents because we respected them and their roles as adults. We did not dictate or demand as if we were “entitled” to anything, even though we worked hard, as they did.

Respect is taught, and earned, not given out just because someone thinks they deserve it, or should I say, “entitled” to it. I respected my parents, and still do even though they’ve gone to be with the Lord.

Let me tell you, we were raised on a single family farm, which was our sole income. My momma and daddy built it from a scrap of land with only one barn on it. We learned to work hard for the roof over our head, food on our table (that we mainly grew) and the clothes on our back. We were taught the essentials of life: food, shelter, clothing, which were the tangible things. We also learned the intangible things: respect, obedience, and whether we hugged or kissed each other, which we seldom did, we understood the intangible spirit of love that bonded us from the top down; from our parents down to each of us. Everything else was just icing on the cake, so to speak.

So I was raised in the pressure pot of responsibility. It was hard sometimes. Did we children groan, complain, get mad, and rebel against it at times? Yes, yes we did. Did we get a spanking for it sometimes? Or a whipping? Yes, yes we did. But we were in Momma and Daddy’s pressure pot cooking. They knew how much pressure to put on our behinds. They knew how to adjust the discipline to meet the offence, which consisted of talking back, disrespecting them, and not doing what you were told. And they knew how to let the pressure off when we got a “whoopin’” on our behinds.

Did we ever “blow our lids?” Oh yeah, we vented, we just did not “blow up” in their faces. Let me tell you, there were a few trees in the woods that I cussed out over and over; vented on them my anger at the injustice, or what I thought as a child was injustice, at getting my spanking for bad behavior. And one misbehaving little monkey was not going to stop the show, or the work on the farm! Work on the farm was catamount to eating. And let me tell you…we ate good, real good. I sure would love to have some of that homegrown, nutritious food I grew up eating.

Let me tell you, on the farm, with yard work, housework, field work, animals and youngun’s to feed, it wasn’t about how we “felt” on any given day. Knowing we would get a spanking, knowing they would get angry at us, knowing we had to do our chores, our school work, and contribute to the work, put pressure on us to buck up to being responsible every day. We didn’t realize at the time that Momma and Daddy were not just growing beans, corn, tobacco, other crops, cows, hogs, chickens, goats, cats, and dogs, they were growing seven children into respectable, hardworking, caring, and responsible adults. They were growing us into adults who became ready, willing, and able to leave home knowing how to buck up every day, work, and take care of ourselves and our own families as we faced the challenges of everyday life.

You know why? I’ll tell you. Because bucking up to the pressure our parents put on us made us strong. When you prune the vine–cut out the excess and sometimes dead wood of bad behavior–you make the vine stronger. It was the beginning of bringing out of us what God put in us. In standing up to that pressure, and discipline it made us strong people who could stand up to the difficulties that we would encounter in the world we were going to be released into one day as adults. We were raised to view our options, make critical choices, and use self discipline to do it.

Iron sharpens iron. My parents were iron, and they sharpened us, the tools in their “shed of life.” As their parents did before them and theirs before them, and so on and so on.

My parents’ daily pressure pot of responsibility bonded us as a family as it brought out the good and bad in us–just like a pressure pot does with food. They tried to shape the good, and make us fight our own undesirable behavior to become self-disciplined. Don’t think for one second we were not told when our behavior was unacceptable, and they did not spare our “feelings” or the “rod” when it came to correcting that bad behavior as we learned right from wrong; real right from wrong. Not the hogwash that is being promoted in the world today: right is now wrong, and wrong is right! It is lies, and I’m sad to say too many have bought into these lies. Our children are paying the price through confusion, not knowing or understanding the basic necessities for life, and having an entitled mentality. This is not of God. And God is not pleased with our parenting today.

This blog in no way is bashing any of you as parents. I’m only saying what I have lived and observed over the years of change in this world, culture, and so called modern way of thinking. And let me say this: The basics of life have not changed, just the thinking around it. What do I mean? Basics: food, shelter, clothing, family love, and God’s love. Our children’s understanding of the basics of life fly around objects, having everything the world of possessions’ has to offer; and have it right now!! This is confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33 (KJV)
33 For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.

With too many pressures from culture, media, social media, schools, and colleges, too many of us, as parents, have so relaxed our morals, let go of our standards, and given in to the pressure pot of the world, the culture, and too much “like-ism,” wanting everyone and everything to “like” us so we can all be “alike” in the world. No individuality; cookie cutter people. No competing with our own bad behavior, or facing it. No “real” right from wrong, excluding God and His word.

In other words…we, as parents, are dull iron today. We sharpen no one. We, as pressure pots, are useless. And lots of our children are venting back at us; putting pressure on us to help them get everything they want…and now!! No learning the basics of life, no self-discipline, and very little real happiness, and no liking themselves because of inner integrity, which is what God requires of us; integrity in His morals.

Let me confess here: My husband and I were one of these kinds of parents too, I’m sorry to say. And our children too, at one point paid a high price under the pressure pot of the changing culture.

In the King James Version of the Bible it says:

Proverbs 13:24 (KJV)
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

The Bible in Basic English says it this way:

Proverbs 13:24 (BBE)
24 He who keeps back his rod is unkind to his son: the loving father gives punishment with care.

What could be the remedy for all this? The “proverbial” rod? (Pun intended here!) More than just the good old fashioned rod, the possible answer could, of course, be God’s pressure pot. But how do we, as parents, bring our children, in this toxic culture, into God’s pressure pot for His type of responsibility?

Well, we’ll cover that in The Pressure Pot of Responsibility II!

Thanks for checking into my blog. Here, at Romance & the Homestead, is just one humble woman’s opinion on some things. Yours may be different according to your own life and observations. Just hit the popup “follow” button and follow. You’ll get a confirmation email. Just confirm and you’re in. If you don’t find the comfirmation in your email box, look in your junk box. Thanks! Share on FaceBook and Twitter. Go to my contact page and send me an email! I would love to hear from you.

To learn more about me, Author Della Strickland, go here: Romance & The Homestead  and here:  About 

Thanks, be blessed, and come back soon!

With love and blessings from Romance & The Homeastead,

Della

 

bench, pot and flowers

The Jake & Jewel Homestead

Come here and check out my books about the family: Shop-For-Love

For building a foundation of Godly principles in the home; and a children’s book for teaching and guiding children on the love of God and the salvation of Jesus:

5F2F0DD9459B864F

 

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